Chances are, if you're reading this and you live in North America, you know what Craig's List is. In case you're one of our strangely accented overseas readers (you all sound so cute!), Craig's List is a site for . . . well, for an awful lot of things, actually: just take a look. Anyway, I'm not sure about elsewhere, but I would be surprised to find a New Yorker who hasn't used it to find furniture, an apartment, a pet, a forum for a rant, or just anonymous sex. It's free, and people who use CL can be very grateful.
Anyone using Craig's List can vote to nominate a post for the "Best of Craig's List" section of the site. I had seen this category before but hadn't clicked on it until recently. It's actually pretty funny. Here are some recent posts appearing on the "Best of Craig's List". Warning: There's very strong language in a lot of the posts, and you might not want to click on any of the links if doing so would offend your corporate overlords - or your delicate, delicate sensibilities.
Here's a fellow who just wants his co-workers to stop talking to him in the john. This guy just wants you to take a creepy puppet off his hands. But there's lots of creepy out there. For example, it's also creepy when a stranger kisses your ear. And this woman just wishes a creep would stop fake-jogging around her block in order to bump into her. Some people are so creepy that you need to stage an intervention.
The open letter/rants forum really helps people get things off their chest: an annoying boss, an annoying cat, the F train (Oh F! I just moved from the F to the Q, but I've taken so many memories with me), a cheap bastard who wants a cheap paint job, that idiot in the black civic si. Here's a nice rant about same-sex marriage that I especially enjoyed. Sometimes the urge is not to rant, but to apologize - after throwing up on a waitress, for example.
There's lots of advice out there, for example this ambivalent advice about sleeping with your roommate. But not all of us want advice. Sometimes, in fact, we get too much information - even from loved ones. Or neighbours. And sometimes we inadvertently give others too much information.
Then there are the (even) raunchier posts. This funny but completely un-worksafe post reminisces about past girlfriends and flings. This post warns about the dangers of, uh, self-love, while this (completely disgusting) post shares a favorite technique. This woman hates doing her laundry so much that she's willing to offer a reward. Some people pass up an opportunity, and then regret it later.
Personals can be funny too, though most follow a recognizable format. Not all, though. This guy compares himself to the A-team. But you just never know where cupid will strike. This personals ad is so awesome that I feel obliged to quote it in its entirety:
SWM in dead-end job seeks dumpy neurotic for mutual psychological torture, tepid sex, and co-dependency. I enjoy drinking, smoking, pornography, and self-righteous indignation.Sounds like a keeper!I can't stand movies, and the last album I bought was The Marshall Tucker Band's Greatest Hits. I have middling intelligence but try to appear smarter by affecting a world-weary air, memorizing useless facts, and chuckling at my own mean-spirited, agenda-driven jokes.
I'm 40, but look 50 and feel 60. You are a whiny, bitter shrew with a misplaced sense of entitlement and unrealistic expectations. In time you will become coolly hostile when I don't fulfill every unmet need you've ever had. Bonus points if you just finished screwing every guy in town and but now want to take it slow with me.
My perfect night would include getting hammered in a sleazy bar while you flirt with seedy old drunks, followed by an embarrassing screaming match. I would be open to an unsatisfying fling that leaves me filled with regret and dread but prefer a long-term, soul crushing descent into booze and pills. No friendships. I don't need any goddamn friends.
Age unimportant, but I will condescend to women under 30 and rehash mother issues with women over 40.
Serious replies only, please.
Your skin looked so fair and soft I could have licked Corona off it and not complained about the piss taste. Your hair was the clincher. I see curly hair and want to run my hands through it and pull it out in chunks. I took a swig of my drink and stared at the way your fashionable jeans lightly clung to your well-toned ass as the older guy with the toddler stared back at me. I thought about following you into an alley, but I did a half-assed job of shaving my snatch this morning, and first impressions are everything. I watched you until my long-expired contact lense prescription would allow me to watch you no more.Brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it? Posted by Chris at October 8, 2005 02:40 PM
