i find i visit more often the more idiosyncratic it gets. as you note, there are a ton of good political blogs out there. what makes this place stand out is the personalities of the people involved.

i also wonder why anyone who doesn't know me in real life bothers to read my site. my blog is a pretty crappy political blog, but it's not that bad as an upyernoz blog. in fact, i'm pretty sure it's the most upyernozy on the entire internet. and that's basically why i keep paying you a visit. it doesn't get any more explanandic than this

Why thank you. . . . It's really that hot picture of myself that I keep linking to, though, isn't it?

Wait a minute. What you're really saying is that my political writing was boring, but you find it amusing enough to revist when I make an ass of myself.

Now that I've found the winning formula, I'm never going to give it up!

I'm just waiting for the post that combines the word "kudos" and that sympathy-inducing picture (for your wife). At that moment, I will be assured that the forces of evil have perfectly synchronized their assaults on balance and harmony, and I'll go live up on the roof in anticipation of certain armageddon.

What you're really saying is that my political writing was boring, but you find it amusing enough to revist when I make an ass of myself.

i never meant to imply anything like that. i actually like your political writing, but it's your sparkling personality (and paul's--and that photo with you in the hat) that keeps me coming back for more.

sorry about my badly worded first comment. the "crappy political blog" bit was directly exclusively at my own site. not this one

Oh, I was making a joke. It was mock offense, actually.

More Hot Ass in 2005!
That's my vote.
(And yah, I never, post... I'm sorry; one of these days. You and Paul just set the bar too high, Chris. But I can't believe it's been a year. Or, only a year.)

Political blogs are a dime a dozen. Interesting voices, not so much.

So, Anne, you think maybe I should post pictures of my six-pack once I get one? I'm tantalizingly close.

As for posting, obviously I'm sympathetic to the idea that posting pictures of myself in a hat sets the bar very, very high - perhaps even impossibly high - for everyone else. But here at Explananda, effort is everything and results are irrelevant. So don't worry.

Anyway, having your names on the side of the site is more an attempt to convince people that I have friends than an attempt to shame you into writing anything.

Given a recent noteworthy event, I am now able to come clean and confess that I, Nick, have been posting under the pseudonym "Chris". I'm not at liberty to give the reasons I needed to protect my identity, but certain influential people (*cough* the Pope *cough*) would likely have made life for me very difficult, even perilous, had they known my views were being expressed in a public forum. Thankfully, I need no longer fear harm from these quarters. So, from here on out it's Nick and Paul setting the cosmic record straight.

(And Yoon, I'm sorry, but I fibbed - er, I lied. Chris wasn't exposed to high doses of radiation at a young age and from Monday to Thursday he doesn't morph into a dashing, tall, blond fellow. He goes up to Ithaca on those days to teach. Rather I, Nick, have been your mid-week Don Juan. I hope this deception doesn't affect our relationship, though I'll understand if you want to take a break for a couple weeks. Say hi to Coltrane.)

And I second Anne - more skin on Explananda.

Nick, that is such a betrayal. How dare you try to steal the credit for all my hard work blogging?

As for the other, ahem, hard work - and why oh why did I ever tell my mother I had a blog - the funny thing is that all this time I've had to pretend that I'm you to get her to sleep with me.

Re: Skin. Ha ha, you all asked for it. Just wait till I get a digital camera.

Nick, *slap* snap out of it. Okay, that post above was from what we'll call Explananda's Tyler Durden. This might continue for a while until I get used to posting as myself. Remember, the first rule of Explananda is, you don't... *slap*.

Uh, who the fuck is Tyler Durden?

See, there I go again. Quite convincing, I must say, feigning ignorance of Fight Club.

Oh, and alter ego, I find it odd that you would classify Pina Colada in one hand and T.V. remote in the other as hard work.

Chris, you tricked your mom into sleeping with you?!

By pretending to be Nick?!

Anne (unless that's Kegri pretending to be Anne in order to make a joke about me sleeping with my mom by pretending to be Nick), don't be so pedantic. My comment was already kinky enough.

Okay -- this thread is going way crazy.

a) I did not post as Anne, fine upstanding citizen that she is
b) I'm really confused about who is Chris/Chris and who is Chris/Nick, but if Chris/Chris wrote either of the posts, what are you on, yo?
c) I like eggs

Please!!! For the love of God!!!! NO MORE KUDOS!!!!

It's a trap!!!!!!!

All right, damn it. If anyone posts again under a false name, I will spank all your naughty bottoms!!! This is unacceptable.

My psychiatrist hypothesizes that my chronic bed-wetting is a result of unresolved guilt. So I hope this public confession will help.

Chris, I deeply and humbly apologize for the incident at the Czech border in 1993. I was completely wrong, and I've always known it.

Kegri, that's touching. I'm not willing to forgive you just yet, but I'll take your groveling apology into consideration. Glad you finally came around.

Hi, my name's Mark Garber. I've really enjoyed reading your blog the last couple of weeks, but I'm kind of confused by this thread. Is Chris really Nick? If so, can you tell me how this affects Frank Tanana? And Mike Crudale.

Hi. I'm new in town, and I've been living in Redhook for the past little while. I am seriously attracted to guys that share my love for Ancient Greek and double entendres. Actually, the sexiest thing that a guy could do would be to take me to see really shitty Kevin Costner films, with his roommate as a chaperone. I'm a big fan of pleasure, and I'm not just talking in the Aristotelian sense.

If you know anyone that might fit the bill, please let me know. I'm dying to compare translations of the Meno, and Gorgias myself on his Hippias Major, if you know what I mean.

Gosh Bea, I sure would like to help you. Hmm...who do I know that is well versed in ancient Greek? Hmm...that's tough, real tough, gosh. But then you add in that bit about really bad Kevin Costner films like Waterworld. Hmm...that's really shaving down your odds. I mean, if a guy really likes a girl, I can't imagine he would take her to Waterworld. Who would even consider Waterworld as a date movie. And the part about the roommate being dragged in as chaperone. Gosh, well, I guess we know that this "Bea" post is a hoax, because, well, that's just too unbelievable. I think that, whoever you are, you need a lesson in how to write believable hoaxes, because anyone can see that this would just never happen in real life. Yep...too much.

Nope, it was really me. Kegri has better taste, or was just slower off the mark this time. Slow frog, ha ha.

Mark Garber,

No, no. Chris is not Nick, and Nick is just having a little fun. Here's a handy primer to help you follow along at home:

Sense of humour:
Nick: Wicked, biting, funny.
Chris: Lame and tame.

Physique:
Nick: Tall and handsome, but a bit on the scrawny side.
Chris: Short and not so handsome, but he could kick Nick's scrawny ass.

Intelligence:
Nick: Would have thought of something clever here.
Chris: Can't.

Flexibility:
Nick: Can suck his own dick. And has!
Chris: No can do. *Sob*

Sex life:
Nick: Apparently sleeps with Chris's wife by pretending to be Chris.
Chris: Sleeps with his wife by pretending to be Nick.

I hope that will help everyone to tell us apart.

Hey, thanks Chris. You guys definately are an entertaining bunch. I am still concerned about the affect all of this confusion might have on both Frank Tanana and Ron Kittle.

Please!!! For the love of God!!!! NO MORE KUDOS!!!

Mark, a little googling confirms that you're probably making a baseball joke. Which means it's completely over my head. I defer to Nick and Spencer in all things baseball related.

A., you know, when I check the I.P. you're posting from, sometimes it seems that you're using the same computer Kegri is. There are two possible explanations . . .

test

jesus -- do i have to start posting a-team introduction quotes again???

Posted by Chris at April 9, 2005 01:06 PM
Posted by Kegri at April 9, 2005 01:06 PM

"Nick: Tall and handsome, but a bit on the scrawny side.
Chris: Short and not so handsome, but he could kick Nick's scrawny ass."

Yeah - maybe kick my ass in a douche head war! Hahahahahaha. Im a ninja and you could never kick my ass. And you know what you come from a country which has a town in one of its provinces called dildo!!! That's what a douche head you are.

Pathology of an injustice

Given a recent noteworthy event, I am now able to come clean and confess that I, Nick, have been posting under the pseudonym "Chris"

1. Some rake named Nick savagely enters the fray with a witty riposte.

Uh, who the fuck is Tyler Durden?

2. Not to be outdone, CY bounces back with a explosive counterattack.

Chris, you tricked your mom into sleeping with you?!

3. Anne Truelove, an innocent bystander, unknowingly enters the fray.

that's Kegri pretending to be Anne in order to make a joke about me sleeping with my mom by pretending to be Nick

4. Chris cravenly takes down two innocent victims.

Okay -- this thread is going way crazy.

a) I did not post as Anne, fine upstanding citizen that she is

5. In what he has already learned is a futile gesture, Kegri makes an impassioned plea for his innocence, a speech so moving and filled with rigour that it is already being considered for publication in the appendices of L.G.'s "Philosophy After Socrates".

Chris, I deeply and humbly apologize for the incident at the Czech border in 1993. I was completely wrong, and I've always known it.

6. CY, not content to impale Kegri with the Dirk of Injustice, twists it maliciously in the open wound. He also, unconsciously, pens an irony that is perhaps more biting than his sinister blade.

Mark Garber,

No, no. Chris is not Nick, and Nick is just having a little fun. Here's a handy primer to help you follow along at home:

7. Chris bites for the shiny lure yet again. We all shudder, knowing from precedent that innocent blood will again be spilled.

A., you know, when I check the I.P. you're posting from, sometimes it seems that you're using the same computer Kegri is. There are two possible explanations . . .

8. Chris exposes A.'s formerly private addiction to mounting Kegri, thus destroying Kegri's political aspirations over an act of sexual philanthropy.

Summary

Nick schools CY. CY takes it out on Kegri. Kegri promptly escapes from a maximum security stockade and now roams the Los Angeles underground. Looks like CY (aka Euthyphro) is up to his old tricks again.

Ryu win.

Kudos on the awesome Kegri parody, Nick. But I had to replace L's full name with initials. We have so much Google-juice that he would have found us faster than you can say "Phonimos powers, activate!"

Thanks CY, and fair enough on the L.G. change. I'll remember next time.

And I'm really proud of just how fast I can type these days.

Oh, and kudos on your sleuthing skills.

For the love of all that's holy!!!!!! Please!!!! Enough with the kudos!!!!1 Stop!!!!! Really!!!!! No joke!!!! It's over!!!!!!!

I found this post on catherineaustin.blogspot.com

I thought that it might be interesting to those following this thread.

Jefferson Jay

Was it the delirium, or was last night really as magical as I think?

I would have called in sick, but Kendra needed a ride to the MOPA Hundred Point Wine Tasting. Her husband Cle was in a serious motorcycle wreck a week ago (he is recovering well but if you are a praying person, remember him in your prayers) and Kendra needed a carefree evening of drinking and not driving. So I drugged my cold symptoms into submission and off I went.

What a party! I barely touched the wine, but I fell in love with the house and the music. With glass in hand, I found my way to the very top of the property: a tiny lookout platform high above the patio, even higher above the courtyard, and miles above the ocean. The stars above seemed as close as the people below. I sat for the longest time, looking down at the party and up at the stars, feeling peaceful and happy and nearly invisible. I mean really peaceful. While I sat there, everything in my life seemed just right, even the things I normally wish were different. If I were just a little more delirious, I might have tried to fly.

Actually, I still feel peaceful, even now. This delirium is not a bad thing...

But I couldn't just sit there, floating among the stars forever. Eventually I came down to be sociable. Kendra and I found each other in the living room. Shortly thereafter, the roving musician, who had been following Kendra all evening, found us. This was not the type of music I would have picked as background for a genteel wine-tasting. Jefferson Jay is a singer/songwriter with a guitar and a vocal range that pierces through layers of conversation. I finally got up to ask him who sang that very familiar song: Led Zeppelin, of course! (See, I told you it wasn't genteel background music).

From that point on, he turned his musical charms on me and Kendra. For half an hour, he played and sang for us. He did Jeff Buckley on request (a capella; he didn't know the chords); he did Beatles on request; he did his own material on request. Even when his high E string broke, he kept playing for us. While he was looking through his charmingly hippie-ish messenger bag for a replacement string, two of his CDs fell out... so of course we each bought one. He told the story of his song "Wooden Boats." It turns out (as I found out when I asked for more stories) that the whole CD is a rock opera about the future. It's about how mankind makes a mess of everything, but two hippies from a self-sustaining Northwest utopia come down to spread truth and wisdom throughout the land. It was incredibly sweet, especially since the two hippies were clearly modeled after Jefferson and his fianceé.

That was the other sweet thing about Jefferson Jay: the way he talked about his fianceé, L.G. Do you remember when you were that young? When it seemed that all the world's questions could somehow be answered in the heart of the one you loved? Jefferson's fianceé wasn't there, but her presence was palpable. Kendra's pretty face notwithstanding, it was clear Jefferson only had eyes for the woman he loved.

If you're in Ocean Beach this Thursday night, stop in at Winston's. Jefferson Jay will be playing there with his band. And if you're lucky, he'll end his set the way he ended ours: with a strangely compelling version of "My Way," the song made famous by Frank Sinatra. Jefferson does that song the way he does everything. He does it his way.

Ultor, wow, I totally don't get that.

Kudos on your triumph, Ultor!